The Real Budweiser. October 23, 2008

Since 1876 Anhauser Bush has produced a concoction similar to horse urine and slaps the name Budweiser on the can.  Budweiser is also the name of a delicious German/Czech brew first made in 1795.  The American corporation felt somehow entitled to the name however and sued the German (currently Czech) Budweiser over name rights in the early 1900’s.  They won, and sort of didn’t.  Now in each European country there is a different law about what the name for the American brand and the Czech brand must be.  Some countries call the Czech beer “Budwar,” or just “Budweiser,” and the US beer “Anhauser Busch B,” “Bud,” etc.  The birthplace of the original beer is our next destination, the once Roman, once Prussian, once Bohemia, once Holy Roman Empire, once Austrian, once German, now Czech city of České Budějovice!

08.Oct.08

Backpacks strapped on we waited for the street tram to arrive to take us to the Brno bus station for our trip to České Budějovice. The stop lacked the usual machine for buying tickets, so we were thoroughly confused and instead of walking all that way we boarded the tram ticketless for only two stops. The one damn time we don’t have tickets we get checked. Throughout Germany and Austria, and Slovakia we have never been checked and we always buy tickets, now this ONCE an official comes and gives us crap for not having tickets. We got off the train with him and tried very hard to argue, but he was unrelenting. Our bus leaving shortly, and the man threatening to call the police, we didn’t want to deal with even more hassle and were forced to pay an extortionate fine of about $35 per person (for what would have been a 20 cent ticket). No point crying over spilt milk, we walked away to catch our bus to České Budějovice. At least he gave us a pair of very official, ornate looking slips of paper as a receipt for the fine; a nifty souvenir.

We arrived to hop on another bus 30 minutes outside the main city. We got a little lost finding our host’s house, and hoped they were worth coming out this far for. After a close call with death involving a teacup poodle and answering three riddles from a hunchbacked narcoleptic we found their lovely home and quickly learned they certainly were worth our trouble! Our hosts had a home cooked meal ready for us on the table, a very nice room to ourselves filled with house plants, and a nice cushioned IKEA futon as our new mattress.

After dinner we spent the night playing board games, sipping red wine, and thoroughly enjoying their company. Jitka just graduated university and is living on the bottom floor of this three story house with her husband Jirii and her parents living above. Jirii is a character full of energy, but his English isn’t perfect and is spoken with a beautifully thick Czech accent. Jitka speaks flawless English, and Jess and I speak German with her parents who grew up learning their neighborland’s language. We feel an unparalleled level of comfort in their cozy home.

09.Oct.08

Sadly the double J’s couldn’t accompany us to the nearby World Heritage site of Česky Krumlov. So Jess and I bus hopped alone for a couple hours and hit the majestic little postcard city. As always our first goal was to get to a vantage point to see the whole city. Winding through medieval alleys, and climbing stairs littered with fall leaves we made it to the castle gardens with a splendid view of the sickeningly cute city below.

Wandering the park had its pleasures. Back in California we only know the colors green and brown for trees, yet here is a remarkable display of oranges, red, and yellows drifting from the sky like massive snowflakes. In the park we met a druid sorcerer who taught us to call the wind and surround ourselves with leaves. We knew no one would believe us so we took pictures. Ladies and Gentlemen, witness the magic and power:

After perfecting our druid magic we made our way to the castle to present ourselves to the king. Sadly we found only a ticket booth charging us to enter the inner sanctum. Photography was not allowed for it disturbed the purity of the castle, also so the jerks can try to force us to buy postcards. Our tour was quite excellent. We learned of war, feasts, wine, torture, and costume parties. Some truly excellent, well preserved relics lay inside. One room in particular was terrific with murals of an excellent looking masquerade party.

Climbing the tower stairs after made us thankful for elevators, but it is always worth the climb for a stunning view. We love towers, and not in some Freudian phallic way, they are just awesome for checking out the city. Then feeling the tummies a’ grumblin’ we made our way to a Gypsy hangout we’ve heard from many sources is supposed to be delicious. In confusing Gypsy fashion it was closed for lunch making us feel again like that proverbial donkey that starves to death unable to decide which equidistant bale of hay to go eat. Making decisions while hungry is dangerous, but thankfully our stomachs guided us to a place well worth eating; The Two Mary’s. Usually we avoid kitschy places like the plague. When a restaurant states “traditional (regional) food” it is a mediocre tourist version of ancient local recipes. This was not one of those places however; our “Bohemian Feast” was seriously delicious with braised rabbit, potato dumplings, fried pork cutlet, grilled veggies, and washed down with awesome local beer and succulent honey sweet Meade. Like king and queen on the river overlooking our castle we enjoyed our awesome lunch. The only thing lacking was a dirty peasant we could throw into a pool of electric eels and laugh as he writhed in pain; oh the joys of being royalty.

The day ended with more park wandering, discussing the future (like what our robot slave will look like), and enjoying the silliness of the “Museum of Torture,” which felt a lot like the “Dark and Scary Ride” at the Balboa Funzone.

A couple hours and a bus ride later we met Jitka and Jirii at the bus station in České Budějovice. We wandered the city a bit with them and sat down to a good dinner followed by some of the real Budweiser at the Budwar cellar. Much tastier than the US piss beer, we gladly shared a few rounds and shot the shit (not literally, we didn’t have guns).

Heading back to the car we found a wonderfully generous present left by the police; a metal yellow boot decorating the front tire. A simple mistake that even the police admitted was a silly place to forbid parking, and an easy sign to miss. They charged a very minimal fee and removed the wonderboot. Good allocation of police resources, eh? Jitka was awesome enough to be our designated driver and we headed home ending a great day.

10.Oct.08

Jitka’s dad showed us the family cellar with clear implications that the family had lived through communism. The place was filled with fruit and vegetable preserves of all kinds and tons of canned goods. The family also brews their own alcohol from fermented apples picked right off the trees in the backyard. The cellar was filled with enough alcohol to get a heard of male elephants drunk enough to try and screw a pride of lions. We grabbed the bicycle from down below and Jitka, Jess, and I headed out for a tour of the neighboring villages. We biked past towering cathedrals and through rolling fields on this beautiful day eventually climbing a hill to quite an unexpected structure. Jitka had barely even mentioned this place, yet it is one of the more gorgeous castles we have seen. Whenever I think medieval, this is what I imagine:

We didn’t bother going inside the Hluboka castle because they charged a lot, and the aristocracy back in the day tended to get quite repetitive anyway; you’ve seen one medieval ballroom, you’ve sort of seen them all. We biked around more, enjoyed a couple beers at a pub, and then headed to Jitka’s dad’s glass blowing shop. Two crazy Dutch students were blowing quite a fine looking goblet and we got to watch the whole process. It took a remarkably short time to make something so intricate, quite impressive. We all chatted when they were done and they showed us some neat projects, one embedding human ash into a glass globe; awesome.

We biked another scenic route home where we met with Jirii. They both cooked us a typical Czech dinner, which was much more similar to a typical American breakfast of eggs and toast, but with a Czech twist. Then we played board games for a few hours and sipped more red wine. These two are among the very best Couchsurfing hosts we have ever had. It was a terrific couple of days, we should have stayed longer, but tomorrow we head off to Prague!

Česky Krumlov Flickr Pics:

http://flickr.com/photos/flufflebuns/sets/72157608099454121/

České Budějovice Flickr Pics:

http://flickr.com/photos/flufflebuns/sets/72157608099698809/