24.Oct.08.
The sun still hadn’t risen when we boarded the bus from Poland to Lviv, Ukraine. Our host Piotrek was kind enough to wake up so ridiculously early and drive us to the station. Crossing the border was not as difficult as everyone made it out to be. An armed guard came aboard checking for Contraband and after an hour or so wait we were officially in Ukraine! A kind English chap allowed us to use his phone to call Andrea on arrival and soon a she gave us a very friendly welcome. Andrea Ahlert is one of Jess’s best friends from high school and we haven’t seen her for 2½ years since she has been serving in Peace Corps Ukraine teaching English to kids in a small village outside Kiev.
Andrea briefed us about a few of the insanities of Ukraine while riding a Marshutka (city bus) into town. Most import rule of safety: don’t step in puddles, potholes, and especially manhole covers. It sounds like a joke, but her friend had recently stepped on a manhole cover only to find herself covered in human waste and stuck in a sewer for a longer time than desired (which is really any amount of time). We arrived to the city where we met a former English student of Andrea’s who allowed us to stay in his apartment. The very amiable Bukchdan (kch like in Kchutzpah) is one of the outwardly gayest people we have ever met (meaning we love him right away). He only survives in such a horrifically homophobic society because Ukrainians are so delusional to think that there simply are no gay men in Ukraine. Moreover, many straight men in this part of the world dress like the 6th member of N’Sync, so Buckhdan doesn’t have an issue blending in.
Imagine the most stereotypical soviet apartment block you can fathom. Big gray cubes in rows, clothes draping out the windows, surrounded by dead trees; this is what we pulled up to. Terrified for our very lives we boarded the dilapidated Soviet elevator; clinking and clanking slowly upwards we would have prayed to a deity if we had one. After dropping off our bags we headed back down the stairs this time. We then learned Bukchdan’s (and many other Ukrainian’s) favorite pastime, one we haven’t experienced since our days in Asia; Ghettoblasting. Full volume on his little cell phone he blasted one of the many new pop songs plaguing the world today. Sung by some half-talent diva, the lyrics begin “I kissed a girl, I liked it;” this would now become our theme for descending flights of stairs as hereafter every time we leave his apartment this song echoes off the walls from his phone.
Another Marshutka ride later and we were eating at the modern, capitalist equivalent of a Soviet bread line; Puzata Kchata. This place became an instant favorite; something like a delicious home-cooked meal meets college dining hall, for reasonable prices. Then Bukchdan took us to the Cathedral where his grandmother was baptized as a girl.
We basically just hung out the rest of the day. Ate some delicious pastries at a café, had some coffees, beers, etc. In the evening we went to a Soviet bunker bar, where a bouncer carrying a replica WWII machine gun and a helmet asked us for the password. Andrea translated for us later, the bouncer asked “Are you Russian?” Bukchdan answered “Hell no. Long live Ukraine!” He could tell we were foreign, but allowed us in anyway. The bar was filled with replica guns and helmets to play with and pictures and icons of the Soviet era and Ukrainian resistance fighters. The Ukrainians hated the Russian occupation, and during WWII many people were happy with the Nazi takeover as they were treated better than under Stalin. Years and years later Stalin’s brainwashing worked however, and if you ask many Ukrainians from the older generation they will still praise the greatness of the bushy mustachioed dictator.
So after a few beers we headed back to a very smoky apartment where Bukchdans housemates had a few people over. We drank some vodka with them and conversed in broken English until the higher alcohol content vodka and beers took their toll and we passed into a stone-like slumber.
25.Oct.08
After another meal at Puzata Kchata our first stop today was the top of a large hill to overlook the city. We walked slowly through the park, Bukchdan Ghettoblasting the whole way, and wound up the hill to a platform on top where many others were drinking and smoking, enjoying the pretty weather with a nice view. Going nowhere in a hurry we wound our way leisurely back down and strolled through some more city parks. At some point we saw a pig tethered to a tree accompanied by a very curious small dog; something you don’t see everyday.
After some time souvenir viewing at a local bazaar we met with more of Andrea’s friends in the city for a Turkish lunch where we all shared travel stories. After lunch they went their separate ways and the four of us ended the day with many hours in a Hookah bar where we smoked a tropical blend of Shisha and shared a few beers.
26.Oct.08
Bukchan had other things to do today so we had to sing “I Kissed a Girl” to ourselves while descending the seven flights of stairs. We had delicious omelets at a fancy place then climbed many flights up the city bell tower for a great view over all the city.
Seeing some cool cathedrals in the distance we had our next destination. Slowly making our way through city and parks, and scaring many pigeons along the way we found the towering cathedral to be not so impressive close up. Once inside we witnessed the fanaticism of Ukrainian Catholics. It was like a Jesus orgy; people kissing paintings and statues of his and Mary’s feet, shaking their hands together in highly concentrated prayer, using white cloth to wipe glass encasing relics, and oh the candles! More fervor than even at many Indian temples…it was weird. A ceremony deeper inside was figuratively drowning three babies in the waters of baptism, dooming them to feel guilty the rest of their unwritten lives for sins that don’t exist. Who knows, maybe they do have it all figured out; just to be sure we drank a few helpings of holy water!
A taxi ride later and we were chasing the metaphorical holy water down with some exponentially more delicious beer at the local Lviv brewery. Sadly they had no tour of the brewery, but we enjoyed ourselves nonetheless. Then we walked a long way back to the city center just enjoying the nice day and chatting about travels, Peace Corps, and gossip. Andrea talked about how ready she is to leave Ukraine because it is a difficult place to live with rampant xenophobia, ignorance, and alcoholism, so far however, it seems pretty nice to us, though we would be utterly lost without Andrea as there is no English anywhere to be found and her Ukrainian and Russian is constantly complimented by locals. With one last look at the city square we headed back to Bukchdans to gather our things and leave the city.
We made our way to the train station and caught the overnight train to Kiev. The train was surprisingly comfortable for a more reasonable price than anywhere else in Europe.
Lviv Flickr Photos:
http://flickr.com/photos/flufflebuns/sets/72157608600087313/
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